soooo, it’s the first day of puasa and there’s only one person in my mind as i break my fast just now… cik sumi. mannn, in two days, it’s coming to 7 months since she’s gone. hmm. i cant help but wonder how it’ll be like when hari raya comes… i… i wonder how she’s doing. as in, a lot of things just reminds me of her. and at times like this, when i’ve got none of my friends near me to keep me occupied, i think a lot about her. especially since, this time last year, most of my time was spent helping to take care of her at home. and most importantly, other than cik sam, she’s the only person who actually asks how’s my life and also willing to listen to me complaining and rambling all kinds of tak penting things. Everytime i listen to Taufik’s Sesuatu Janji, it reminds me of her. Three days before she passed away, she asked me to send her that song to her phone, and since i couldn’t make out what song it was, she was humming the song to me… oh dear, it was so so cute! i still remember it so clearly because the night after she passed away, when we were all cuddled together in the living room just remembering her, i told them adults how cute it was when she sang it, and i couldn’t stop tearing. too… sudden. just too sudden. but most importantly, the best thing about this aunt of mine, her positive spirit is just so admirable. never giving up even until the end- that’s what i love so much about her. we’re all still trying to cope even though 7 months have passed but i guess, that vacant seat at the dinner table during buka puasa, will always be a comforting reminder of one great person loved by her family and friends :)
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on a different note, today i was telling yani what i was going to do sooo excitedly, but in the end, i chickened out halfway JUST BECAUSE, i was ‘paiseh’. hmmm. just a little disappointed because i just ended up feeling quite stupid for feeling that way so after that i just slept the rest of the day away. -sighs- just that ego making me not want to take the intiative. there’s always a ’but then’ everytime i want to do it so yuppp. whatever, nuriylianabteomar!
i’m so gonna sleep. dizzy spells all over. think my mum’s getting abit drama ‘cos she asked me to go for an xray or something due to some growths here and there. aiyah…. scare me only… the growths will always be there. i just need some sleep and i’ll be fine.
goodnight all. take care of your health (and toes, to fas) ! puasa, jangan tak puasa arh!
p/s: i miss haigroad like maddddddddddddd :(((((
